Do you often catch yourself staring off into space, playing through scenarios that “could be?”
It happens to me more often than not, and most recently I’ve started speaking those daydreams out loud.
I’ve never classified myself as a “dreamer,” but whether I want to admit it or not, I am.
Are you someone whose mind spins and swirls with ideas and schemes and plans for the future? Do you feel like you might dream too much sometimes?
If so, you’re in the right place.
As amateurs, I think it’s easy sometimes to get ahead of ourselves. One day we want to start a nonprofit, the next we want to go off the grid, and the day after we dreaming of pioneering space.
We want to do it all but don’t know where to start.
And sometimes we find ourselves so inundated with dreams and ideas that we become paralyzed because there’s no clear way forward.
Let’s admit it: we can’t do it all.
As much as you may love to be a lead-singing, entrepreneurial, ship captain, it’s impossible (unless of course, you’re a lead-singing, entrepreneurial ship captain.)
In today’s world it’s fashionable to be busy. A lot of people find significant value and meaning in doing it all- in always having something to do.
And maybe that’s okay for people who hate deep connections with others and good health and peace of mind, but if we want to do this whole Amateur thing well, we need to slow down a bit.
Now that we’ve explored your personality, decided that our pasts are not what defines us, and given fear a run for its money, it’s time to become masters at a few big things instead of spreading ourselves thin and never having enough time to take care of ourselves and the people around us.
My sophomore year of college I was a YoungLife leader, involved in a church small group, a full-time student, a Resident Mentor, a University Ambassador, an employee at Augusta National, and was in a steady relationship.
Everything fell apart because I’d spread myself too thin.
And that’s when I realized something(s) had to go.
Here’s what that thought process looked like, and I hope you’ll parallel your own with it:
- My health matters most. If I am not resting, eating well, and spending time outside, I’m setting myself up to fail at relationships and school and my job(s). This became my foundation for decision-making.
- Relationships matter more. Part of my personal health is tied to the relationships I keep. And when I start to neglect those, I’m undermining my support system to do everything else.
- My education is a gift. I was privileged to have parents who helped pay for four years of college, and as part of keeping my relationships healthy with them, the way I stewarded my time pertaining to school became next most important.
- Titles don’t matter: Sure, it sounded really great to say that I was a University Ambassador, or that I was a YoungLife Leader, but when I took away the titles and looked at what I was accomplishing by being part of those organizations, I realized my time as a UA could be put on hold for a semester while I tried to regain balance.
Junior year of college became so much easier with this new mindset in place. I learned to say “no” more often, and my fear of missing out was squashed when I recognized that missing one or five extracurricular event wouldn’t be the end of my social life.
As you think about where to focus the mass of your attention and effort, I hope you’re willing to prioritize your personal health and the relationships of the people on your Home Team.
I also hope you learn to say no to things more often, or to at least ask for a raincheck if it’s possible.
Friends, keep dreaming. Don’t let your crazy ideas and wild imaginations throw off the balance of your life, but don’t let them get away either.
Your wants and goals are important.
But you are more important. And so are the people around you.
I think there’s a healthy way to dream a lot and to dream big.
And it starts with deciding what matters most to you- what needs to happen on a foundational level to make everything else function- and what can wait until later.
Let’s become people who are willing to deeply commit to one or two big dreams and are willing to pause the rest while we become experts at the first.
Your dreams and goals and the people around you deserve to get the best version of you committed to them.
If you need help sifting through your daydreams and commitments and laundry list of to-do’s, please feel free to reach out. Jordan and I want to be a resource for you!
We’re in this together.